When you help a needy person, there is always a price to pay.
Years ago I befriended an older single woman who needed rides to church on Sunday. I didn’t mind the extra time to pick her up – what was unexpected was how long it took to talk to her on the phone.
Rosella was a cheerful talker, but she could strain one’s ear forever. She would jabber away about her family and her neighbors – events lost in the decades of the past. She once talked about the time she turned down an offer of marriage from a Mr. Taylor, who had children and whose wife had died.
“I didn’t want a tailor-made family” she quipped triumphantly.
I wondered if all those years living alone in her turn-of-the-century three-flat had taken its toll on her mental state.
Loneliness adds to aging
People like Rosella who live alone, and even those in nursing homes are often faced with a debilitating loneliness.
A study that recently made the news reported that certain psychological factors, such as feeling unhappy or being lonely, add up to 1.65 years to one’s biological age. This is even longer than the 1.25 added years that come from smoking.
I’m surprised that the number is not greater.
Dark, psychological forest
The woman whom I helped was what I later learned was a hoarder. Her old house suffered from piles of household items stacked up on tables, dressers, and counters. They were covered with sheets of newspapers – the mountains of stuff looked like circus tents covering up unknown animals.
Living alone can lead to unguarded excesses in a person’s life. Without a roommate or spouse to keep a person’s weird inclinations in check, one’s eccentric habits can grow like mushrooms a dark psychological forest.
That’s why social workers and other discharge planners would do well to take note of the social environment that their patients return to when they get out of rehab.
Will your patient be living alone, or need the help of a responsible person on a regular basis?
A caregiver who stops by every day could help.
FirstLight Home Care Can Solve Loneliness
That’s why we recommend the non-medical home care services of FirstLight Home Care of Deerfield/Lake Forest. If your patient needs the social balance that we all need, consider their services when they get discharged from rehab.
FirstLight’s caregivers are trained to be friendly and truly concerned with their clients’ social needs. They also help with their activities of daily living. Call FirstLight Home Care of Deerfield/Lake Forest at 224-880-6555.