Grandpa’s job was to sweep the snow

Shorts in the snow

Early in the morning, the elderly Filipino man swept the snow away from the driveway of the handsome two-story brick home.

The older gent must have been a rugged guy, wearing shorts, sandals and socks as his breath misted in the cool air.

Grandpa could be seen outside on a regular basis, tidying up the well-kept corner house. No matter what the weather, he seemed healthy as a goat.

The younger man of the house, Manuel, and his wife were health care workers, an occupation of many Filipinos. They sent their daughters across the street to the public grade school, and Manuel made sure that they got into the advanced curriculum. Gramps was either Manuel’s father or his father-in-law.

All in all, a well-disciplined family that cared well for their elderly.

First generation respect

This caring for one’s elderly in a family is often an integral part of the culture of first-generation immigrants, whether they be Mexican, Filipino, African, or other Asian background.

One home care company owner whom I’ll call Rosie once told me, “Immigrants take care of their elderly.” Although they could not be her customers, she admired those born outside of the U.S. who had a strong cultural basis for looking after their grandparents or relatives.

I countered that the elderly sometimes don’t want to live with their children. They like their independence. Or their children live in distant cities because that’s where their jobs take them. And some cities and housing communities have restrictions on the number of generations which can live in a home.

Thus the need for professional home care services and assisted living.

When grandma wants independence

There are also challenges to be faced when a grandmother or grandfather lives with their grown children. The physical living situation is crucial. Having a separate room, living space, or even separate access for the grandparent can make the arrangement more manageable.

The authority in the family must be made clear. Grandparents usually give in to the leadership of their children.

The availability of family members to provide care and support matters. If everyone in the family works long hours or has other commitments, it can be challenging to effectively care for the grandparent.

But ultimately, one’s priorities about all these situations determines what will be done so that the best interests of all in the family are satisfied. We tend to put first what is most important to us.