Help My Senior

Easing the struggle of the family caregiver

If you have an aging parent with mental difficulties, did you ever wonder what kind of value they have in life?

In other words, can anything good come from the difficulties of mental illness?

If we look at history, we can find notable figures who have suffered from mental illness and yet contributed great things to those near them, and to society. For example, Abraham Lincoln suffered from depression. He was no doubt struggling over his lifetime losses of his mother when he was nine years old, his wife, two sons, and other family members.

Winston Churchill, the British Prime Minister during World War II, is believed to have had bipolar disorder.

Another historical figure who struggled with mental illness was Alphonsus Rodriguez, who died in 1617 and whose wife, mother and daughter all died within three years. Sometime later his son died.

One of the consoling facts is that Alphonsus lived an exemplary life and was later declared a saint by the Catholic Church. It is encouraging to know that those who struggle with depression or other forms of mental illness can live an admirable life, even a holy one, and one that is officially recognized in a public way, such as through canonization.

After his family members all died, Alphonsus, the son of a wool merchant in Spain, applied to join the Jesuits. But since he was not sufficiently educated, and at the age of 40, he was deemed too old, he was rejected. Later, however, he was accepted as a Jesuit lay brother.

Alphonsus worked as a doorkeeper, but also devoted himself to prayer and penances. The website Catholic Ireland relates that through his own inner struggle, he was able to influence many people, most notably St. Peter Claver, whom he advised to go to the Americas where he became the “saint of the slaves.”

Alphonsus lived a humble, probably hidden life, and although he was much troubled by anxieties and mental struggles, lived nobly and contributed much to society.

Families of elderly parents afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease and other mental difficulties can thus take heart.