Aging Upstream (Abridged)
Memoirs and Mirth for the Silver Years
By Kevin Banet
Help My Senior Publishing
Copyright © 2024 by Help My Senior Publishing.
Published in the United States by Help My Senior Publishing, Hampshire, IL
All rights reserved. No portion of this book – except for short passages with reference to the author – shall be reproduced, printed, or used without written permission from the author.
Independently published
This book is dedicated to aging seniors –
especially those who have problems of mind and body, and those who care for them.
This is an abridged version of the book. Click here to get the complete printed book on Amazon.
Contents
- Superman Senior
- “I Knew Him Thirty Years ago”
- He Plants Trees to Serve a Race to Come
- “Devil Dog” of the Battle of the Marne
- Grandpa’s Cane
- A Wrestling Coach’s Hot Pepper Trick
- Stashu’s Three High School Reunion Fears
- Three Famous People and Mental Illness
- A Time-Traveler’s Anguish (Part I)
- A Time-Traveler’s Anguish (Part II)
- Parents’ Splish-Splash into the Bath
- What You Learn After Saying “No”
- They Want Us to do What?
- Grandpa’s Job was to Sweep the Snow
- A Native American Legend Lives On
- Prayers that Seem to go Nowhere
- Poetry
Introduction
Aging is a journey that takes you to a challenging new land, sometimes akin to ascending a steep hill or swimming upstream. In the following pages, this book explores the often-overlooked advantages of growing older, drawing inspiration from historical and personal experiences as well as from the timeless wisdom amassed over centuries. It is when we are drawn out of our own narrow daily experiences by means of a good read that we are put in touch with the deeper meaning and beauty of life.
Aging Upstream is a perfect companion for individuals facing the challenges of a medical recovery or from dementia. And it’s a delightful bedtime read for anyone looking for a few moments of insight and inspiration.
Kevin Banet began his career as a newspaper reporter, then worked for various Catholic organizations before starting Savvy Senior Marketing. He also edits HelpMySeniorNow.com, which aims to lighten the burden of caregivers and those for whom they care.
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Superman Senior
Have you seen those superman seniors out there – those odd birds in their 60s, 70s or older who astound their neighbors and friends with their outstanding athletic accomplishments?
You may have read about them in the papers or on the internet. They seem to have overcome the limits of old age like a phoenix that is always rising out of the ashes.
One such person was a man named John, age 86. One day at a YMCA he ambled into the locker room from his swim. Slow-moving, short and stooping, he was approached by another, younger swimmer and the two began talking. In his quiet voice John explained that he came to the Y three times a week, each time swimming half a mile.
This is nothing to sneeze at. Half a mile is 32 lengths of a 25-meter pool, the size of most public swimming pools.
Just think – back and forth, back and forth – for maybe three-quarters of an hour. “I used to swim a mile at a time when I was younger,” he added proudly.
This, no doubt, must have been in the pristine youth of his 60s or 70s.
In the pool, he kept up a steady pace, arm over arm, lap after lap. The younger man could not maintain his reliable cadence.
“I’ll keep it up as long as I can,” he said about the years ahead of him.
Short but strong
One week John didn’t come to the pool. He asked where he had been. John explained that he had to take his wife to the doctor.
We can imagine him driving cautiously down the street, just barely able to see over the steering wheel, with his wife sitting quietly next to him. He probably drives a rust-free 1988 Buick Regal that’s meticulously kept up and faithfully parked in his garage every day.
John is very unassuming. If you saw him picking up his newspaper on the front porch or pushing a grocery cart in the store with his wife, he would not look remarkable – like the super athlete that he was.
Many seniors have given up their once-loved athletic activities, either because of fear of injury or they have grown complacent. But John keeps showing up faithfully in the pool.
The younger man talked to his doctor about John. He expressed some disappointment in not being up to the level of this man as well as others he’d met.
“Don’t think that way,” the doctor opined. “Much of it may be due to genetics. And on the other hand, men in their 50s have poorer health than you do. And you might die some day of something else entirely.”
Nice thought. Like John, you do what you can while you are able.
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2. “I Knew Him Thirty Years Ago”
An older man and his grown son were sitting around the dining room table. The older man put down his newspaper.
He looked up and mused, “I knew him thirty years ago.” The father had read an obituary from their church’s newspaper from their hometown area that was a day’s drive away.
The death of his former friend came as sad news. The son knew nothing about him. Had dad known this fellow from the private boarding school he had attended? Was he the one who helped him sneak off the school grounds in the dark of night to spend fun time driving around with friends?
Or was this friend another young instructor at the college where his dad had started his career as an English teacher years ago?
In any case, the man had passed, and even though the two friends hadn’t kept in touch with each other over the years, it seemed that a part of dad’s past vanished like a puff of smoke. Their friendship was like a kite that had broken away from the string.
The young son, in his twenties, wondered silently at the thought of such a long span of years slipping by in what seemed like a blink of an eye. Even knowing someone that long ago – before his own birth – was incomprehensible.
Goodbye old neighborhood
And yet here is the younger son today, at about the same age as his father when those words were uttered. The younger man is now grown up, with a family of his own. Having seen the panoply of life played out before him, he knew what his dad meant about old friends.
The son, too, had lost touch with his old friends from high school, sports activities, and college. Whatever happened to that cross-country friend who used to drive around with him looking for an open tennis court on hot summer days? Or his other friend who became a construction worker and who had four children but then unfortunately got divorced?
Then he realized that both he and his father had moved away from their original cities, in search of better job opportunities. Try as they might to keep in touch, the everyday demands of their own families had in effect, for both of them, severed their ties with old friends.
Years ago the young man yearned to get away from his hometown with its familiar streets and dull evenings. Now he yearned for old friendships as one warms himself by a fire.
If you are lucky, when you have so many years in the rear-view mirror, you can keep the friendships from long ago. The website Our Mindful Life says, “If you have brought a childhood friendship into adulthood, you are the lucky few.”
And the writer Joseph Perry said, “Make new friends, but keep the old: Those are silver, these are gold.”
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3. He Plants His Trees to Serve a Race to Come
he song by the group Kansas says, “All we are is dust in the wind.” Is that all? No, we are a point in the line of individuals who make up the flow of families and nations, always building on the foundation of the structure of humanity, as it were.
Thus we are related to the past and the future. Our actions affect those who come after us. In the Middle Ages, it was taught that a murder not only stopped the life of one man or woman, but of all the descendants that might come from that person afterwards. The person was held guilty of ending all those lives.
Conversely, if we give life to others, and raise them with a lifestyle of virtue, we are passing along something very good to future generations.
Years ago, the great orator Cicero quoted the poet Statius, “He plants his trees to serve a race to come.”
Thus, the man’s children, as well as his future family descendants, and the society of tomorrow would benefit from what was planted – the shade and possibly the fruit of the trees that he so carefully nurtured and guarded.
For the immortal gods
Cicero takes it a step further into the supernatural. He says that a farmer, however old, if he were asked for whom he planted the trees would say, “For the immortal gods, whose will it was that I should not merely receive these things from my ancestors but should also hand them on to the next generation.”
Thus there was a certain duty, imposed by the gods above, to “pass it forward” to those who come after us. Our lives are a continuum, from one generation to the next, like chapters in a book. Our ancestors have given us gifts, and we have a responsibility to pass our own unique contributions to future generations.
On that note, we all have ancestral histories – it’s just that, depending on our ethnic background, we have forgotten them.
In many Asian cultures it is common for families to keep books documenting their ancestry and genealogy, often called family trees or genealogical records. Chinese, Japanese and Korean families will proudly produce such books that go back hundreds or even a thousand years.
In Europe, some baptismal records of old churches go back hundreds of years. Historians refer to them to track down the births and living areas of persons.
Fingerprints to the past
Today we delight in using our blood samples to find our DNA fingerprints that point to the countries of our ancestors of origin. Thus, you might see spots on a map of Europe, Africa, Asia, or another continent. These seemingly random dots, which may be spread out over large areas, give us a sense of wonder. A glimpse into the hidden lives of our great-great grandparents, and even those farther back in time.
But these tiny blips on a screen do not seem to satisfy us; they tell us nothing of our forebearers’ lives – how they struggled, how they occupied themselves, and what they loved or hated. How they insisted on good behavior of their children or contributed to society through their work or social life.
Looking forward, think of all the good we can pass along to, not only our own children, but to those who come afterwards.
The book of Deuteronomy in the Bible (Deut. 30:19) says,
I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live….”
The message here is to choose life – God’s will – and the blessings will be passed along to you and your future generations.
Plant trees that you may never see fully grown. But someone will.
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